Brown Bears (formerly Victor Trumper) v Exiles, Avery Hill, 14 June
1998
New Depths Plumbed!
On the fixture list this game was down as Victor Trumper Memorial XI
but what we found upon arrival was that The Trumpers were no more and had
almalgamated with The Brown Bears and taken the latter's name. Both teams
had been having difficulty getting full teams out so the marriage was mutually
convenient. It also meant that the strength of the new Brown Bears was greater
than that of the old Victor Trumpers and more so with the return from South
Africa of Miles, known colloquially to the Exiles as "WG" for
his red-bearded resemblance to the late Grace and his similar ability with
the bat.
After some confusion involving four Cricket teams, two council employees
and a solitary prepared wicket, we drew the short straw and had to play
on last week's pitch, which had had no preparation and was incorrectly marked
up. Tony having won the toss on the previous pitch reversed his decision
and fearing a green monster elected to bowl first.
Paul Shorrock and Naem Khean opened the attack, if that's not too strong
a word. The first wicket came from a run out by Dominic Wood, almost on
the square leg boundary, which gives some idea of the shortness of the boundary
and the slowness of the Brown Bear opener. This brought Miles to the wicket
and he was soon tearing into Naem's attempted bouncers, pulling and cutting
to both square boundaries. Shorrock plugged up one end, his first seven
overs costing only 13, parsimony indeed compared to the mayhem at the other
end. Tony bravely brought himself into the attack, he would have to bowl
sooner or later and Naem might do better down the hill. His first two balls
were pitched more or less where Naem had been banging it in and were both
despatched on the full over midwicket by "WG". His third ball
was fuller and skied to deepish mid off where new guy James (perhaps best
we never know his surname) decided to allow the damp turf to take the speed
off the ball rather than risk the shame of dropping a sitter. Tony tried
manfully not to show his dissapointment by stiffling a scream whilst holding
his head in his hands, between his knees. Another clattered boundary, then
a repeat of the third ball, an easier chance, less air, less distance to
travel, less effort by James, same result. WG was on about 20, when he was
finally caught by Soumitro Nagpal off the bowling of Dominic Wood he had
made 140. I will gloss over those intevening runs , they were all much of
a muchnesss really, bad balls hammered away over or through the field, it
wasn't a one man show though, most of the other batsmen cashed in on the
depleted Exiles bowling. Soumitro had a go, and Kieth Marchbank was brought
out of retirement to ply his left-arm stuff. He might have had a wicket
too if only he could catch! Dominic was most succesful, inducing two catches
and some dropped chances. When the skies opened after 33 overs an early
tea was taken and it was decided to change over then, which suited the home
side most as by then the tail were in and the rate had slowed from around
8 an over to maybe 5. However Tony was so glad to be away from the mayhem
that he accepted the terms. Brown Bears 232 off 33 overs! Nick Coleman was
already sure of defeat and could was rolling it around his tongue to get
the feel of it "...beaten by the Brown Bears!"
So it was with this stirring mantra echoing around their heads that the
Exiles set about regaining with the bat some of the pride they had given
away with the ball. Sean went first for a duck from a ball that popped from
that the Exiles had failed to find bowling up the hill, gloved him and popped
to Miles (who else) at shortish gully. Kieth continued in his nurdling way,
working singles to fine leg, and flashing and mising at anything short and
wide. I reckon if you set two fine legs for him he'd never score another
run (any opposition Captains reading this are welcome to try my theory,
it may induce him to learn another stroke!). But he does stick around, unfortunately
with the rate required climbing toward double figures, stickiness was only
half of the solution. Dr. Naem Khan promoted to three after his recent unbeaten
run in the late middle order played with a degree of restraint that was
as out of character as it was untimely. Admittedly the bowling was tidy,
relying on those forgotten tenets of line and length, one side of the wicket
and to a well set field. For perhaps the first time in his career the Exiles
fell further behind the rate whilst Naem was batting. When Butter knocked
his off stump back it was as if a trump card had been played too early.
Dominic took an age to garner 10 runs, the lack of pace off the wicket stymied
his no-backlift technique. Captain Tony Brook was dismissed by Ray Sheehy,
a bowler who he had earlier described as rubbish, but whom he had to admit
was much improved when he got a lifter that he gloved behind. Nick Coleman
then made an effort to get with the programme, driving the bearded fellow
straight when he over pitched and even Kieth played a few shots in front
of the wicket, but still the rate required spiralled out of reach. Nick
and Kieth departed to similar shots, driving at full length balls and losing
their off stumps. John Morgan played a few crisp shots for the cause and
Soumitro Nagpal stayed with him, playing correctly when only agricultural
shots on an industrial scale would save the day. Waseem got a few shots
out of the back of the wardrobe, on-driving crisply off his pads to the
shortest boundary. Soumitro hit the sweetest straight drive all along the
carpet that showed his potential for another day. When Paul Shorrock came
in the rate required was 29.00 with four overs left, every ball that was
not hit for six was a nail in the coffin (that was in reality nailed shut
sometime around when WG was not caught off Tony's bowling). The easier bowlers
were on so Paul accepted a rare chance to add to his aggregate and re-state
the case that his batting is an underused resource, pulling to leg and driving
twice to the long-on boundaries, and picking up some scrambled singles whilst
Soumitro came to terms with damp English conditions, taking a knock in the
box for his troubles and no doubt wondered if he had thrown in his lot with
the wrong team. He will be at Lords for the first time next Sunday (watching
England struggle against South Africa as they do against every visiting
team at Lords) so he will not be around to watch a fully featured Exiles
lay waste to The Strongroom by way of revenge. A loss to the Brown Bears
has to go down as one of the darkest days in Exiles history to date, and
if a turn-around is not forthcoming soon the Exiles are staring down the
barrel of a long hard summer. New members where are you?
Where are the old members, come to that?